enjoy work?

they say there is a recession....
i dont know anythingnaboutit
....i spent royally this christmas.......
electronics.......and it was so much fun......

hdtv first....
here are the rresults of my extensive research
along with the logic i applied.....
you can makew your own opinions....

assumption number 1
the tv i am going to buy is going to last me or at least 4-5 years.......i mightnot want to afford another one.....

therefore........i would like to buy one which as good as it can get for the amount of money i got........so we will try to get one with top specs.....

so i got down to finding out......

now initially they said that in the hdtv industry, the more you pay the more you get....
dont believe it...

if you are going to buy an hdtv today and you want it to last you some time, here are a few things you have to know...

lcd is more expensive than a plasma
lcd is more energy effecient than a plasma
lcd is lighter than a plasma
lcd is better for well lit or sunlit rooms

so these are a few soft pointers
now for some hard ones

if you plan to use your pc with your tv ----only LCD will do
if you are going to watch only sports/fast moving scenes/ gaming ----- plasmas are better

i went for lcd

only buy a 100hz lcd. nothing less
it might be a little expensive, it is an important update you should have

then it just comes down to looks

i went for a 40 inch 100hz lcd tv

the biggest name in the game is sony
they are the ones all experts compared all other tvs to
i didnt find them attractive...... but suppose that if you dont mind the looks and you can afford them, as they are the most expensive too.....go for it ... you cant go wrong....

i didnt and couldnt......so i looked further

all others were pretty much the same.....

toshibas were probably the next best in terms of reviews......
lgs were just about alright.....
samsungs were supposed to be good.........but some ratings were 6.5/10.........and the general impression was tat looks were better than the product delivered......

sharp/phillips and some others were few........and not much choice in the models.......especially in cardiff.......so i didnt dig deep into them......

i thought i will go for an lg......my mum has got a plasma........and its good.....
but then on reading expert reviews realised that my mums tv had a dead pixel........and thats no good.......so my impression fell a bit.........but now i can compare, the remote control was better on the lg then the samsung i eventually bought.....

anyhow..........i didnt like the toshibas........looks are a big thing for me.........much to natashas annoyance........

then i researched and researched.........and found out that a particular model of samsung.......the le656a...........is a cool thing.........some more research......and then i went for it.......

review.......samsung 40le656a

very good looking.....
very good results to my humble third-world eyes......
excellent communication with pc.....
switching between source inputs was much easier and faster on the lg of my mums than it is here...........but overall very good.......

its just 2 days........so dont know yet........but i will update.......


and by the way.......if there was anyone who read my previous post and threw away their iphone covers.........i really apologise......

the day after i wrote that essay.......my wife dropped my iphone and now it had an ugly tiny bump on one corner of the ceramic.........sad.........but everything has to die someday.........then why not the iphone too??

all through the writing of this post i listened to ELOY........an album called Dawn.....probably one of their first......very good

Cover your iphone??? Why?

should you cover your iphone?
the uger to cover your iphone into some ugly packing,
or rarely, a cover that cant enhance, but alters the perception of the iphone substantially, perhaps better to say that it distorts,
comes from the primitive view of people to protect glass....
i think a smooth surface that serves some purpose becomes fragile by default...
and then our human intellect reflexly wants to prove its dominance over it by wrapping it up....

i believe that those who want to cover their iphone fall into 2 categories....
ignorant.......and insecure.....
we will take the ignorants first....
ignorants are the modernists........they know what is happenning.........and so they say.....a little knowledge is a dangerous thing......
the fear ignorants have is this..........the phone has no buttons........therefore the only mode of communication with the machine.....
therefore......if the screen becomes insensitive to their touch........the machine will will become a paperweight.....and an expensive one........compared to what you can get in the market.....
so......you have to ensure that the screen is always sensitive.......
then they deduce that it responds to touch........therefore.....if something rubs against it all the time......the machine will be forced to respond.......and either it will be hung in a life of persistent response.........or.........it will get tired and give up..........becoming more and more stubborn with time.......
therefore....cover it...........it will be protected against anything touching it all the time........and will give me a life of super touch sensitivity for years and years.......

but thats a misconception......
iphone works on synaptic technology.........unlike the PDAs of billion months ago...........which needed 'pressure' of a tap for the screen to respond...........this screen is built differrently.......
it works on the transfer of electrons from you skin.......those electrons jump from our fingertips and excite the screen...........and so it responds.....
therefore.....if you put it your pocket uncovered..........as far as the screen is concerned........nothing is touching it.....even though tightly packed between your papers, pen and keys......
so covering it to prolong its sensitivity is plain ignorance........

now lets go to the insecure ones......
the insecure ones want to protect their phone.........from scratches.......smudges.....spills.....cracks.....sorrow......tears..........and bad girlfriends......
the logic is simple...........cover it......and it will look like new.......for ever and ever........
perhaps its this desire of things for ever and ever that makes us do things in general......
well.........it will be like new............but it definately wont look like new............because you cant look at it anyway..........its covered....isnt it?
fact no. 1.........in 2 years time..........iphone will be history........by 2011........iphone will be the thing of billions and billions of months ago.......
thats the way we do things these days.....
fact no 2..........nothing looks better on a beautiful body than its own skin................most covers are plain ugly........very few are passable if not insulting............but they completely change what the iphone stands for.............
so why cover it............its at its most beautiful when its naked........keep it that way.........and scratches......well..........life is too short......if its insured......thats as far you can go for protection.........more then that is obsession...............in fact......the only argument i can think of for covering it is when it is all scratched..........

to conclude..........i dont understand why people cover their iphones......
and i want to urge everyone to throw away all their covers and use iphones as they came.


(now that i have calssified humanity of the basis of their attitudes towards the aesthetics of their phones, i might also add that all of the above was just a christmas-day-at-work-so-lets-kill-time way of putting my dying lexicon through the oiling machine.......)

}during the writing of this post-renaissance retro metro essay, my ears provided excellent nourishment to my multithinking brain by the music of Jethro Tull, Michael Schenker, Hans Raj Hans, and some obscure bollywood music.{

reaching india

my dear friends........how are you all......i was perkier than i am now when i sat down to write..........but going through the mail has taken away my energy......so you all might feel the drowsiness showing through on occasion.......

for those who didnt know.........i am on a night shift........and there seems to be an hour of inactivity.......
the trip to india was fantastic.........me vik and sumit had shitloads of fun.......so it was awsome........i am sure all of us have good memories form the whole thing......

i was going to write more elaborate letters.......which i will in due course........this one is just to open the conversation.......

there is quite a lot of stress at work these days..........lots of peer pressure........people are making a lot of progress around me.....research and all......at the cutting edge of developments........i feel a bit left behind..........so i am all geared up to get back to the same level..........i have my appraisal in a week..........so i am going to weep and cry over there that i am not getting enough opportunity and all that............and there is a lot of paperwork involved..........so i am upto my nose with sickness filling out forms and gettint them signed etc..........its so so painful..........part of life......

so anyway.......

the trip to india.......

it was very refreshing.......

i got three weeks leave.......which is a lot in this part of the world.......more than i will ever get perhps..........so that was a good start......

we drove down to london......stayed overnight at rompys place in hounslow.....
and took the flight next morning.......to india.......
the bleeding taxi cost me 18 pounds.........whcih made me think perhaps it would have been cheaper to drive down to the airport in my own car and park in the long stay parking/..........it might have come cheaper.......anyhow........not that bad.....

lufthansa flight to frankfurt was 2 hours........initially i was sad at a transit flight..........but then it turned out great........amy got to play about a bit at thew airport..........and we shpoeed some souvenirs........then we went onward to delhi..........the plane was old, the food was rubbish......but the pilot was good........excellent landing.......
i just love the flying and all that........

we reached delhi at midnight or something........giggs was there to get us........the taxi got stuck in traffic.........so we hung around at the airport...........then boarded the taxi and started off for chandigrah......

even before the immigration check.......at the igi airprt.........you could smell india.......its a strange smell.........i can actually smell it as i write.........its distinct.......not unpleasant or anything.........neutral smell.........but differrent........i can smell it and tell blindfolded that its india........even in the air con environment of the airport insides........

anyway.........the ride back home in the taxi doing perilous driving was usual.........we talked for a bit........any went to sleep in the back seat.........and we tried to ..........but for me it was a fruitless excercise.........we stopped in one place for tea........indian tea..........and i gave a toss to bisleri water............and had a full glass of indian tea.........proper roadside tea.......boiled to the point of sterilisation.........it was yum.....
and then carried on.........we reached home at 6 or 7...........amy was still asleep..........and once we reached........all the exhaustion disappeared.........we were fresh again........unlike houses here in uk.......indian houses are open......that was the feeling i got..........i think its because of the jaali ke darwaazey.........so in a way you feel more earthy.........
lot of hustle bustle.......one helper to do the dishes.....another to clean the house......and 6 of us in the family........

anyway we washed etc and dozed off..........i was good to keep my calm......i didnt call anyone......just thought i will unwind.......and in due time...........give a ring......


now i am sleepy........i will write to you tomorrow what happenned........how we all met etc.........it was a fun experience.....




www.sosphere.blogspot.com

the star in perigee

mr rogers couldnt kill me.....

i think he tried.......

and i think he thinks he did.....

but he couldnt.....

i dont know if thats good or bad.......

maybe he should have......

but he didnt.......

time will tell me.....

he ensured that i felt like shit......

and i think he was very prejudiced......

a person given the authority he did should be neutral......

 i dont think he was......

and so.........i think he founf it a good opportunity.....

in a way it makes me feel good......

the low life that i am......

i was the thorn on his side......

or more like the bead under his mattress......

but unfortunately its all quite serious......

the stakes are very high......

 my future depends on it.......

and now he is in the position to dictate his terms......

so if in 2009 he is one of the interviewees for st3.......

i will have had it......

becuase i dont think he if the kind who forgive and forget......

he might forget but not forgive........

and i will be ther5e to remind him of me......

right at the interview desk.......

and he will churn up the low image he holds of me......

and spark a conversation to prove the same......

i am sure i will have a tough job......

i have lots to do.......

i have letters to dictate.......

i have some audits to start......

i can read up some articles to rescue me from darkness.....

and i can get ready for theatre........etc.....

letters are so boring......

audits need bubbly enthusiasm........

i am so low on my supply of bubbles......

and i am scared to go to theatre.......

i might get told off........though it is my special interest time......

but you see thats the environment.......

but its not all bad.......

its quite good here.......

in fact......if i quit this cloaked public moaning and did some jobs.......

i might find that it is all good......

and here i go on the 'blame yourself' road.......

but its always therapeutic to write here.......

i feel energized again......

and i want to do all those yuck jobs......because you need the salt to appreciate the sweet....

so......i will get back......to work.......do something they are paying me shitloads for......

i can see my star rising.....

my royal highness

there is no place like a blog to write on when you are fustrated

nobody can see you, yet you get the feeling that everyone has seen you.........no one can hear you.......yet you get thefeeling that everyone has heard......

its just fantastic.....a miracle of the spafce age.......

i suffer from a personality disorder......

people who suffer from psychiatric or psychological disorders are of two kind.....

one are those who have no insight........

which means they dont know they are unwell........and they dont admit it......

other are those who have insight..........they know they have a problem.......

i thin it is better to have insight than not.......

if you know you are unwell.......yo might someday want to do something about it......isnt it?

it has been very difficult for me........

i am very enthusiastic.........about everything..........here is my list.....

i am very enthusiastic about obstetrics and gynaecology......

about astronomy

about music.....roger waters......jethro tull.....king crimson......yes........this sublist is very long....

about judge dredd, calvin and hobbes.....family guy.....that sublist is endless......

about technology......

about video games......

about food......

about desserts.....

about sketching and drwawi ng....

about llove and relationships.....

and friends.....

about surgery......

about adventure sports.....

about fashion......

about relieving poverty......disease....

about helping my patients......

about my family......

about ebay.....

about learning to play an instrument......and dance properly.....

about being healthy......

about making a contribution.......

about taking humanity somewhere........

about peace.........

about optimism and happiness......

in fact come to think of it......this list is potentially very long too.......

all of this enthusiasm circulates in me 24- 7.......

i am constantly bubbling with enthusiasm........

i am also trying my level best to do something in either of these fields at every given moment of my life........

which makes my life very fulfilling........

fortunately providence has given me the opportinuty to do everything i wanted........in some respect or another.....

so everyday..........this journey of life brings more joy........more challanges.......and an eventual sense of accomplishment.......

that feeds my enthussiasm even more.........

and we enter a circle where i have a constant supply of positive energy........

i feel like a force.......on this journey of life.......and enjoying every moment of it....

i think i was very lucky......

my parents and teachers were great.......

they formulated my outlook.........and infused me with the confidence to feel like i do......

they shaped my personality......into something noticeable..........i am coming to it now.....

so in the end.........what we have a a 6.9 /10 guy on looks.....

i speak quite well i think.......

and though i know very little, what i know is concrete......

and while my powers of intelligence and memorization are just about average if not below average........i compensate a little by working harder.........

working in the white mans land has given me tips on a very good work ethic..........so i am not as good as the average white man yet...........but i am working towards it..........and i hope i have shaken off some of the melanin associated inertia of rest........

now here is the hard bit.........i think i am good to acknoeledge it.........and many will agree with me.....

i am an overconfident......careless......self concieted.....average joe......

thats quite a sad picture....to be honest.....if its true.......i am shit......

considering that i have a high opinion of myself........its pathetic....

what it does show is that i hve insight......

so i can maybe.........once it does turn out to be a proven truth......do something about it......

but there are other things that come with it........which i am not responsible for......

my oratory prowess.........backed by my enthusiasm.......backed by my (over)confidence.......gives people the impression that i am very experienced............this especially relates to my job.........perhaps in other spheres as well........

people get the impression that 'he knows a lot'........

in fact........i know nothing......i do try to read and keep it all in my head..........but i dont come from a very intelligent stock..........so my memory is not very sharp..........and i actually know nothing......

i am very good with my hands.......i am very confident about my surgery......maybe thats where people wrongly interpret that i am good at everything else too......

i am encased in a 31 year old body..........and i am still a senior house officer......so maybe i am a bit advanced in my years......for the level i am at.......maybe that adds to the impression......

and i have to stay.......i think it is harmful.......maybe not harmful........but not useful either......

people get disappointed in me.........and i dont kow how to prevent it.........

i cant do much about my personality.........i dont think i want to.......

i dont want to ebb my enthusiasm................i dont feel gifted.........but i do feel like i am going to be doing something big someday........does everyone feel like that........its something you see in the films all the time.......so i suppose everyone thinks like that.......

but only a handful get to be someone.........

like my roommate used to say when he used to be drunk........'dad told me.......do something, be someone'........

i dont have a mad desire to be dramatically famous or something........

if in the end i run a hospital in remote africa and help the people and make children happy is some small village..........i will take that as my 'being someone'...........but i dont want to die like a drone........i am not drone meterial......

it is so therapeutic to write this blog.......

i am not sure that i will be an improved version of myself after this electronic pill........but it does make me feel better doctor.........

i will see how i evolve......in the grand scheme of things.........i am just a minute speck......in the life of the observable universe........i am just a fraction of a blink........so even if i attach a lot of importance to myself.......it is only a blip on the screen.......

look at life from the perspective of a sheep........everything is planned......eat drink sleep get sheared eat drink sleep get sheared and so on..............but if there is a sheep that wants to stay up all night and look at the stars...........and then doesnt want to get sheared......wants to step outside the fence........i dont think that would be cool with other sheep.....or with the shepherd..........and suppose the sheep is wrong.........there is nothing in the stars........not getting sheared is worse because of summer.......and there is lethal traffic outside the fence..............then the sheep can go back to sheepworld........if it doesnt get killed in its adventures............and be ridiculed and laughed at..........but i think the sheep would feel good.........at having at least tested what was there.........tried its belief...............i think its not wrong to be wrong...............its wrong to live in doubt........not all truths are discernable........in fact there are probably no 'truths'........everything is relative.......

i think ill go and have a drink.........

this was fun........will try it again.....

toddling

i was quite ugly when i was born.....
i have seen my pictures......my gran holding me....
my problem was that i was skinny...
skinny babies are always ugly.....
mums brother came to see me.......when i was born.......excited and all.....
but then he went to mom and said i was so ugly that he didnt even feel like picking me up and giving me a cuddle or anything......
but i quickly gained weight.......freaked out on my mums milk and all......
so i was quite rolly polly in a couple of months....
an interesting thing happenned when i was a kid.....
my gran was living with us at that time.....
a son is a prized posession and all........so my gran........my mums mother in law..........was always concerned about me........
and she would nag my mum to persistently feed me......
such was the cold war beteeen them, that my mum used to get fed up and not feed me well enought on purpose in retaliation.......
obviously not to the degree to starve me and all.........she loves me to bits.......but there would be occasions when i would cry and she would feed me a little bit because the nagging irritated her......
so i was persistently hungry......
i think that the centre of satiety in my brain never got satisfied.....
and to this day.......i am starved....
no matter how much i eat......i just cant get enough......
oh how boring.........but this was essential.....so we can go on to what happenned next.....

conception

maybe i want everybody to listen...

more importantly perhaps.....

i just want to keep my sanity....

life is good today......

i dont want to get used to it......

so i must write......

otherwise........

concieted as i am.......

i will forget everything......

and i will be left with nohting to give....

i cant help feel ashamed at this cheap way of seeking glory....

at this second rate attempt at realising my destiny.....

redemption will come itself.....

i dont like being so apologetic all the time.....

i must write from the beginning......and i must keep writing....

i am an amazing mix of chemicals....

i am refined machine working in multiple dimensions.....

i was created before my creation......

the amazing thing is that this is story of each one of us....

only that we have never seen ourselves this way.....

my mother was in my nannys womb.....

she must have been only 12 weeks old........

feeding off fluids in my nannys womb....

it was the year 1965.....ish....

she was forming her organs........

a process perfected by three and a half million years of evolution....

these molecules........coming together and splitting apart.....

in a sacred dance of creation......

as my mother was being formed......

and because she was a female......she was being implanted with her supply of eggs.....

that was when i was created

or a part of me at least.....

out of a collection of a few million eggs that were gifted....

i was one of those cells......and i lay in that clump....

the millions were reduced to thousands......

and that mix of chemicals called me survived......

and my mum was born.....

that was when i froze......

and then i lay frozen untill my mum turned from a girl to a woman......

there were only 500 eggs left by then......

one of them was me......

and perhaps my sister was there close by.........

or maybe she was in the other ovary....

cant remember clearly now....

and then one day.....

i was asked to leave.....

and then the rest of the eventsare easy to imagine...

if you see enough tv

luckily.....

i met my other half then.......

good timing....

otherwise i would have just been flushed away.....

like the unfortunate 498 eggs that didnt make it....

so thanks to some turn of desire in my parents.....

and to mmy dad for then other half.....

i was whole......

the amazing mix

had come together......

i was ready to implant myself.......

and multiply....

and as far as hinduism goes.....

life in me began the day i was concieved.....

i built myself over nine months....

this is my concieted self reflecting itself......

then i was born....

my mum was 20 ......ish....

in gangtok.....

they say the clouds were inside the house all the time....

at that altitude.....

i have never gone back.....

i must ......one day.....

sikkim had ceded itself to the government of india.....

so mama tells me.....

the hospitals were quite good.....

the bacteria that colonize your gut are the ones you get from the midwife who delivers you.....

she is the first one close to you.....

and she is the one who breathes over you......

and you get your supply of those important bacteria....

who then settle down inside your gut.....

and stay there all your life.....

they digest all your food.....

and......yes........they help you make shit......

sounds shit........crucial nevertheless.....

they also are responsible for your farting tendency....

which i seem to have a lot of......

so this midwife........is the i have to thank .....

for making those around me suffer.....

only on occasion though......

life is a marvel....

lest i forget....