the star in perigee

mr rogers couldnt kill me.....

i think he tried.......

and i think he thinks he did.....

but he couldnt.....

i dont know if thats good or bad.......

maybe he should have......

but he didnt.......

time will tell me.....

he ensured that i felt like shit......

and i think he was very prejudiced......

a person given the authority he did should be neutral......

 i dont think he was......

and so.........i think he founf it a good opportunity.....

in a way it makes me feel good......

the low life that i am......

i was the thorn on his side......

or more like the bead under his mattress......

but unfortunately its all quite serious......

the stakes are very high......

 my future depends on it.......

and now he is in the position to dictate his terms......

so if in 2009 he is one of the interviewees for st3.......

i will have had it......

becuase i dont think he if the kind who forgive and forget......

he might forget but not forgive........

and i will be ther5e to remind him of me......

right at the interview desk.......

and he will churn up the low image he holds of me......

and spark a conversation to prove the same......

i am sure i will have a tough job......

i have lots to do.......

i have letters to dictate.......

i have some audits to start......

i can read up some articles to rescue me from darkness.....

and i can get ready for theatre........etc.....

letters are so boring......

audits need bubbly enthusiasm........

i am so low on my supply of bubbles......

and i am scared to go to theatre.......

i might get told off........though it is my special interest time......

but you see thats the environment.......

but its not all bad.......

its quite good here.......

in fact......if i quit this cloaked public moaning and did some jobs.......

i might find that it is all good......

and here i go on the 'blame yourself' road.......

but its always therapeutic to write here.......

i feel energized again......

and i want to do all those yuck jobs......because you need the salt to appreciate the sweet....

so......i will get back......to work.......do something they are paying me shitloads for......

i can see my star rising.....